friendship is like a chess game

we're all in the same team

either the black or the white one

we fight for the same destiny

sometimes we help each other

and sometimes we sacrifice ourselves

to ensure others go forward

but at the end

who'll be the king?

who is an actuary???

1. Two people are flying in a hot air balloon and realize they are lost. They see a man on the ground, so they navigate the balloon to where they can speak to him. They yell to him, "Can you help us - we're lost." The man on the ground replies, "You're in a hot air balloon, about two hundred feet off the ground." One of the people in the balloon replies to the man on the ground, "You must be an actuary. You gave us information that is accurate, but completely useless." The actuary on the ground yells to the people in the balloon, "you must be in marketing." They yell back, "yes, how did you know?" The actuary says," well, you're in the same situation you were in before you talked to me, but now it's my fault."
2. A lawyer, an accountant, and an actuary are arguing over whether it is better to have a married spouse or an unmarried lover. The lawyer says a lover because it's legally easier to disentangle yourself from a lover. The accountant says a spouse because you can get a tax deduction with a spouse. The actuary says it's better to have both because you can lie to each of them, telling each of them that you're with the other, and then go to the office to do some work.
3. A group of lawyers and a group of actuaries are travelling by train to conferences in the same city. The lawyers were surprised to see that the actuaries had only bought one train ticket for the entire group. When the conductor entered the front of the car, all of the actuaries got up and went into the same bathroom. As the conductor went down the aisle, the lawyers dutifully handed him their tickets. When he came to the bathroom he said, "Ticket, please." One ticket slid out, he punched it, and went on his way.
   On the return trip home, the lawyers thought they'd try the same trick, but this time they noticed the actuaries had not bought any train tickets. As the conductor entered the front of the car, all of the lawyers got up and went into the same bathroom. One of the actuaries walked over to the bathroom, knocked on the door, and said, "Ticket, please."
4. A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live." The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?" The doctor replied, "Marry an actuary." "Will that make me live longer?" asked the patient. "No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer."
5. A life actuary designed a new coverage "Senility Insurance". He expected low claims because "If you remember that you have a policy, it is proof that you are not senile."
6. An engineer, an architect and an actuary are stranded on a desert island with only one can of baked beans and no can opener. The engineer suggests lighting a fire to heat up the can so that the contents will expand and force the can to open. The architect says the contents would scatter all over the place, so he suggests building a structure around the fire to catch the contents. The actuary says, "Assume a can opener ... ".
7. A psychologist was studying the problem-solving abilities of engineers and actuaries. During a joint interview with one engineer and one actuary, the engineer was asked "If there was a fire in the wastebasket and a bucket of water on my desk, what would you do?" The engineer responded that he would put out the fire with the bucket of water. Then the actuary was asked "If there was a fire in the wastebasket and a bucket of water on the window sill, what would you do?" The actuary's studied reply was "I would move the bucket to the desk, thus reducing the problem to the previously solved one."
8. A doctor, an engineer and an actuary were arguing about which was the oldest profession. The doctor stated that God created Eve from Adam's rib, which was of course a surgical procedure. The engineer argued that, earlier, God had created order from chaos, which was an engineering feat. "But," asked the actuary, "who created the chaos?"
9. A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Want to hear an actuary joke?"The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I'm 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I'm an actuary. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, 225 pounds, and he's an actuary. And the guy sitting next to him is 6'5" tall, 250 pounds, and he's an actuary. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?"The first guy says, "No, I don't want to have to explain it three times."
10. An actuary is walking down the corridor when he feels a twinge in his chest. Immediately, he runs to the stairwell and hurls himself down. His friend, visiting him in the hospital, asks why he did that. The actuary replies, "The chances of having a heart attack and falling down the stairs are much lower than the chances of having a heart attack only.

Cheh!

kelebihan2 wanita

1. Doa wanita itu lebih makbul
daripada lelaki kerana sifat penyayang
yang lebih kuat daripada lelaki.
Ketika ditanya kepada Rasulullah SAW
akan hal tersebut, jawab baginda, "
Ibu lebih penyayang daripada bapa dan
doa orang yang penyayang tidak akan
sia-sia."

2. Wanita yang solehah (baik) itu
lebih baik daripada 1000 lelaki yang
soleh.
3. Barangsiapa yang menggembirakan
an ak perempuannya darjatnya seumpama
orang yang sentiasa menangis kerana
takutkan Allah .Dan orang yang
takutkan Allah SWT akan diharamkan api
neraka ke atas tubuhnya.

4. Wanita yang tinggal bersama anak-
anaknya akan tinggal bersama aku
(Rasulullah SAW) di dalam syurga.

5. Barangsiapa membawa hadiah (barang
makanan dari pasar ke rumah lalu
diberikan kepada keluarganya) maka
pahalanya seperti melakukan amalan
bersedekah . Hendaklah mendahulukan
anak perempuan daripada anak lelaki.
Maka barangsiapa yang menyukakan anak
perempuan seolah-olah dia memerdekakan
anak Nabi Ismail.

6. Syurga itu di bawah telapak kaki
ibu.

7. Barangsiapa mempunyai tiga anak
perempuan atau tiga saudara perempuan
atau dua anak perempuan atau dua
saudara perempuan lalu dia bersikap
ihsan dalam pergaulan dengan mereka
dan mendidik mereka dengan penuh rasa
takwa serta sikap bertanggungjawab,
maka baginya adalah syurga.

8. Apabila memanggil akan dirimu dua
orang ibu bapamu, maka jawablah
panggila n ibumu terlebih dahulu.

9. Daripada Aisyah r.a." Barangsiapa
yang diuji dengan sesuatu daripada
anak-ana k perempuannya lalu dia
berbuat baik kepada mereka, maka
mereka akan menjadi penghalang baginya
daripada api neraka.

10. Wanita yang taat berkhidmat kepada
suaminya akan tertutuplah pintu-pintu
nerak a dan terbuka pintu-pintu syurga.
Masuklah dari mana-mana pun pintu yang
dia kehendaki dengan tidak dihisab.

11. Wanita yang taat pada suaminya,
maka semua ikan-ikan di laut, burung
di udara, malaikat di langit, matahari
dan bulan semua beristighfar baginya
selama mana dia taat kepada suaminya
serta menjaga solat dan puasanya.

12. Aisyah r.a berkata, "Aku bertanya
kepada Rasulullah, siapakah yang lebih
besar haknya terhadap wanita?" Jawab
Rasulullah SAW "Suaminya." " Siapa
pula berhak terhadap lelaki?" Jawab
Rasulullah SAW, "Ibunya."

13. Perempuan apabila sembahyang lima
waktu, puasa di bulan Ramadhan,
memelih ara kehormatannya serta kepada
suaminya, masuklah dia dari pintu
syurga mana sahaja yang dikehendaki.

14. Tiap perempuan yang menolong
suaminya dalam urusan agama, maka
Allah SWT memasukkan dia ke dalam
syurga terlebih dahulu daripada
suaminya (10,000 tahun).

15. Apabila seseorang perempuan
mengand ung janin dalam rahimnya,maka
ber istighfarlah para malaikat
untuknya . Allah SWT mencatatkan
bagin ya setiap hari dengan 1,000
kebajikan dan menghapuskan darinya
1,000 kejahatan.

16 . Apabila seseorang perempuan mulai
sakit hendak bersalin, maka Allah SWT
mencatatkan baginya pahala orang yang
berjihad pada jalan Allah.

17. Apabila seseorang perempuan
melahir kan anak, keluarlah dia dari
dosa-dosa seperti keadaan ibunya
melahirkan nya.

18. Apabila telah lahir anak lalu
disusui, maka bagi ibu itu setiap satu
tegukan daripada susunya diberi satu
kebajikan.

19. Apabila semalaman seorang ibu
tidak tidur dan memelihara anaknya
yang sakit, maka Allah SWT memberinya
pahala seperti memerdekakan 70 orang
hamba dengan ikhlas untuk membela
agama Allah SWT.

sape2 yg ade amik gmbr time bday party kt tu, bleh x anta to my email? beeha86@yahoo.com
sowy la..sbb mase tu mane bwk camera..so, skrg ni kt xde 1 pun gmbr sendri time party tu..huhu..

thanx to all of u..

salam~ thanx byk2 sbb wat bday party utk aku aritu..terharu sgt2 sbb slalunya celebrate ngan hubby tersyg..huhu..but this year dia xde kat cni..ade cite kat dia yg korg buat suprise bday party (a.k.a berbuka puasa) utk aku..dia suh cakap kat korg sume, terima kasih byk2 la sbb jaga honey dia baik2..hehe..maceh byk2.. ;p

www.Reciter.Org

Check online software for recitation Al-Quran.
Translation in Bahasa is available.
www.reciter.org

afdlin shauki in town!!

at 3.28 in afternoon,oct 4, thursday,time kitaorg tgh kusyuk stdy pension,during en nazrul's class yg kitaorg(me and yunilalalalala ponteng)...OMG!!!afdlin shauki kat bilik bacaan delima 2...out of no where..huhu..believe it or not?believe it!!huhu~~

Attention!!!!!

Hugo boss' models are coming to town..huhu..be aware of their presence..hahaha

bursa pursuit has just started!!!!!

to all participants of bursa pursuit competition,start your engine and make money as much as possible..huhu..for those who are still interested in joining the league,give your email address to our class rep,syafiq to join the club..hehe..let's make young punters rich and rich and rich and rich....huhu

EbookU Final Look

Diskusi: Bagaimana anda mendefinisikan ilmu?

Ilmu merupakan perkataan bahasa arab yang bermaksud pengetahuan . Ain Lam Dan Mim, Apakah yang sebenarnya dipanggil ilmu? Adakah ilmu itu sama dengan informasi? Pernahkah anda belajar sesuatu ketika anda kecil, dan apa yang anda telah belajar itu masih anda ingat sampai sekarang?. Adakah itu dipanggil ilmu?

Ilmu yang sebenar-benarnya adalah ilmu yang berada di dalam dada. Ilmu tidak ada pada buku. Buku adalah hasil output dari dada seorang yang berilmu. Adakah anda dapat menangkap perbezaan antaranya? . Bahasa yang kita petuturkan sehari-hari adalah ilmu yang paling-paling bermanfaat yang kita telah belajar dari sejak kita kecil. Anda setuju? . Kita belajar bahasa melayu melalui banyak cara seperti dengan diajar oleh ibubapa , mendengar percakapan orang lain, belajar di sekolah, dan banyak lagi sumber-sumber yang lain.

Cuba anda bayangkan kenapa saya katakan bahawa ilmu tentang bahasa pertuturan tu sangat bermanfaat. Contohnya ketika anda pergi ke kedai hendak membeli gula, jika anda tidak mempunyai ilmu bahasa untuk mengatakan "Saya nak gula 2 kilo." Bagaimana anda nak terjemahkan keinginan untuk membeli gula jika anda tak pernah tahu perkataan "saya", perkataan "nak",dan perkataan "gula"?

Tetapi disebabkan kita telah belajar ilmu tentang perkataan tersebut sejak kita kecil. Kita dapat melafazkan keinginan untuk membeli gula itu dengan mudah. Contoh ini adalah contoh yang sangat mudah untuk menunjukkan kehebatan ilmu yang ada di dalam dada. Walaupun ilmu bahasa itu bersifat universal dan global, tetapi ia masih tetap ilmu yang bermanfaat.

Pernahkah kita bertanya daripada manakah sumber ilmu ini yang sebenar-benarnya. Betulkah sebab kita belajar, oleh itu kita menjadi terpelajar dan berilmu?. Jawapan bagi soalan tersebut ada dengan jelas di dalam Al-Quran di dalam Surah Al-Baqarah.

Ilmu tentang nama setiap benda di dunia adalah antara ilmu yang paling awal sekali di ajarkan kepada manusia bernama Adam. Bukanlah Adam itu sendiri yang mengetahui nama setiap benda tetapi pada hakikat yang sebenarnya segala ilmu adalah milik Allah S.W.T.

Cerita yang disampaikan di dalam Al-Quran adalah cerita yang benar dan haq. Bukan cerita dongeng dan direka-reka. Jadi , kita tidaklah boleh menganggap remeh temeh tentang cerita yang diceritakan oleh Allah S.W.T sendiri di dalam Al-Quran. Setiap cerita yang disampaikan adalah cerita yang benar-benar terjadi pada suatu masa dahulu seperti kisah ini:-

Ketika Tuhanmu berfirman kepada malaikat-malaikat :
Sesungguhnya Aku hendak menjadikan di bumi itu Khalifah.

Berkata malaikat: Apakah Engkau hendak menjadikan di dalamnya orang-orang yang melakukan kerosakan dan sentiasa saling berbunuh-bunuh menumpahkan darah.
Sedangkan kami sentiasa bertasbih dan memuji Engkau dan senantiasa mensucikan Engkau.

Allah S.W.T Al-Hakim berfirman : Sesungguhnya Aku tahu apa yang kamu tidak tahu.

Kemudian Allah S.W.T mengajarkan kepada Adam [Asma`a Kullaha] maksudnya nama setiap benda-benda.

Kemudian Allah berfirman kepada Malaikat : Katakanlah kepada Ku , nama-nama itu jika betul-betul kamu orang-orang yang benar.

Maka, Apakah jawapan malaikat apabila mereka sedar bahawa jika Allah tidak mengajarkan ilmu tentang nama-nama itu kepada mereka, mustahil bagi mereka untuk mengetahuinya. Jawapan yang diberikan sangat hebat sekali sehingga dirakamkan dialog tersebut di dalam Al-Quran. Perlu diingat dialog itu benar-benar terjadi suatu masa dahulu. Anda tahu jawapan tersebut... Lihat video untuk mengingat semula...



Jika anda tidak tahu, carilah di dalam surah Al-Baqarah dimuka-surat yang agak depan.

Pengajaran yang diberikan olah Al-Quran sebenarnya adalah untuk menjadikan kita sentiasa beringat bahawa kita adalah milik Allah S.W.T. Walaupun kita sedang berada di dalam kelas sedang belajar subject-subject tertentu, tetapi hakikat yang sebenarnya , pemahaman tentang segala sesuatu itu datang dari Allah Yang Maha Bijaksana.

Semoga Allah sentiasa memberi taufiq kepada kita untuk sentiasa mencari Ilmu tanpa melupakanNya.

huhu~~test! test personality!!

imagine..
imagine u are lost in big2 jungle..names 3 animals u'll see..ikut turutan..hehe...don't forget to leave your comment!!=)

CAMERON HIGHLAND..

sem lepas kami pergi camping kat cameron... best ooo!! huhu.. sbenarnya, suasana kat situ, mmg mcm kat SWITZERLAND!!! bila bngun pg, ko rasa mcm kat hutan luar negara... lagi satu, dia ada sume kemudahan, (surau,toilet, hall)...best owh... boley kita hiking, main masak2, jungle trekking, petik strawberi, tgk tempat teh boh, .. shoping pun boley!!! dkt dgn pekan!huhu... kita drive ramai2 pun boley kalo nak ke sana... huhu!!! jom la!! dua jam lebih je driving kesana... tol n minyak dalam RM40 lbh je (kancil)... huhu!!!

ayuni...big secret

what do u think she's doing there?
a) throwing the bowling bowl
b) looking at the lane
c) look at her shoes
d) wishing for the strike

p/s: hahhaha.. ko nak saman aku ker?? aku ade 3 org backup n saksi kejadian...

journal oh journal...

hm..slamat mempresent journal..aku dah agak dah..msti ttbe je en nazrul akan kate "journal present this week"..so selamat mempresent dan ucapan terima kaseh buat ketua kelas kesayangan kite 'syafiq' yang telah mencadangkan untuk wat powerpoint..terima kasih la sgt ye ...haha...gudluck utk take home test en nazrul jgk...owh...bznyer kiter...

tests & assignments -ASAP-

can anyone please give the exact submission date for every assignments and tests that we're going to have next week? i'm sooo clueless right now. TQ!

jom la!!!

assalamualaikum...

kawan2ku... rasanya dah lebih kurang dua tahun kita bersama kat UiTM ni...

huhu.. tapi! blum sekali pun kita dpt wat trip yg agak2 jauhnye bersama2 kan?

kan ke best kalo kita dpt spend time together kat tempat selain kelas?

kan best kalo dpt gi vacation ke, picnic ke, camping ke...

tak payah la nak tnggu dh abis blajar br nak wat...

nnt masing2 ada komitmen lain plak..

huhu... best tau kalo kita dpt berjalan ramai2, kita gi tempat2 yg cantik2..

tasik ke, bukit ke... gunung ke...

huhu... jom la!!! :)

Love notes?

it seems like it's a routine now...everyday, i park my car n when i return 2 hours later, there it is...a love note from our beloved pak guard...haha...last week i was summoned 3 days in a row ( just like yuni)*wink*...or was it 4 days? haha...i can't be bothered to count anymore...i don't even mind anymore...(syahmi,dun worry,i'm catching up with u...who knows i might be able to break ur 'record'...haha)...because honestly, i don't see the logic of having such a big parking space but not allowing people to park there...i don't blame the pak guard 100%...they are doing their job...but i do think at least they should be more lenient...it's not that the staff do not have space to park...there's PLENTY of space...and ironically the staff do not even park in the spaces provided for them, they prefer to park near their offices (which do not happen to be proper parking spaces, by the way)...it's funny, we pay the fees, so technically we're clients of UiTM because we pay for their service...in any organization, shouldn't the clients needs be of top priority?
this situation reminds me of when i was in school...i was a prefect back then...it was a rule among the prefects that u must submit 5 names of students who broke the school rules every week...a good prefect should be able to provide more than 5 names...each prefect has this little black book where they will write the name of the 'wrong doers' n submit it to the head of discipline by the end of the week. the head of discipline would then check our books and comment on our progress. she will write 'good' if we were able to submit 5 names or more but if we get less than that she'll write 'teruskan usaha' or 'cuba lagi'. i've always thought that there's sumthng wrong with the system but i never said anythng bout it...it just makes me wonder, is a good pak guard one who issues the most summonses?is that how they measure the productivity of the pak guards? coz if it is, then it's no wonder they're actively issuing summonses everyday,haha...